Care Givers


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Care Givers are right up there with Teachers for being under appreciated I believe. I, my family and my brother provided 24 hour a day care for our Mother and believe me when I say this is one of the hardest jobs I have ever had. Yes I called it a job and yes we would do it again in a heartbeat but it was so very STRESSFUL! Yes it was stressful for the one you are caring for and for the ones who are providing the care.

As the months progressed Mom slowly slipped further into Dementia. At first she knew us part of the time and then it got where she would call for my two oldest granddaughters when she needed something. If one granddaughter told her NO she would call for the other one.  Then she would pray for a drink of water instead of calling me to get it for her.  One of the hardest things to hear is your Mother begging the Lord to let her come home. She also couldn’t remember making promises to us either. One of these was to not get out of bed as she couldn’t walk, stand or even sit up in her wheelchair anymore. I found her on the floor, we got her back in bed and Norm fixed the sides of the bed to prevent her doing that again. So we would try and find humor in some of the things going on around us and we prayed for peace and calm all the time. Many nights we were lucky if we got a hours sleep. We started shutting the door and she thought we were a nursing home and that I was 3 different shifts. Oh she did try and fire me quite often and accused me of bossing her around. I told her yes I am the boss and you can call me Boss Hogg! She wasn’t happy with me and threatened me with my brother and he’d just agree with me and boy would that set her off! I can laugh now but there were days all I did was cry. The last month was the hardest as she knew no one and could barely speak. She just seemed to waste away and we prayed the Lord would grant her peace.

On March 19th of 2020 Mom was called home. What a Wonderful Day for our Mother. Her prayers had been answered and her new life had begun. She was HOME! For the rest of us it was mixed feelings. There was Joy and Peace, Gladness and Sadness as we moved forward to carry out her last wishes. Blue was her favorite color and she gave us a list to follow and we did follow it as best we could. No white flowers were we to put on her grave and the florist did a wonderful job of making sure the only white flowers were fillers. The Mortuary and the Preacher did an amazing job. Of course we had rain and thunder through her graveside service. Mom loved the RAIN!!! She’s buried by our sister and we know she is at Peace. Mom was 97 years old, only one month shy of her 98th birthday which she celebrated in Heaven this year. I bet she had a wonderful birthday. This Saturday  we ordered her Grave Stone. We are having a rocker like the one she used to sit in and her picture engraved on it. The list is now complete and we can move forward knowing we followed her wishes as best we could.

Because of Mom needing us we were here when the Covid 19 occurred and we had a place for Norm, Jon, Lily and Me to stay. Our Kodiak was already set up in the back yard and we have all the services we need. Plus we can use the house’s services too. A Blessing for sure.

I want to thank all of you for your prayers and kind words through out all of this. You will never know how much each and everyone of you means to me. I pray that all of you are doing well and staying safe as we all cope and get ready to Journey On!

P.

Categories: Phyllis' Blog

5 comments

  1. Dave and I are so sorry to hear your mom passed. But we know she is happy and at peace. We think and speak about you two often. We enjoyed your friendship, however brief! We have sold our RV and moved into an apartment in Waunakee WI. My mom lives 15 min from us now so I can be involved in her care. Currently, we are staying in Loveland CO at our son’s watching our 6 yr old grandson while the parents work. Covid has messed with everyone. So sad. If your travels take you near Wisconsin, please call so we can meet again! 352-446-4470

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    • Thank you both for your thoughtful words. If and when we Journey through WI. we will call you and get together for a visit. We pray all goes well with your Mom and that life can get back to a new normal very soon. Stay safe.
      N.& P.

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  2. Hope things go smoothly for you from here on out. Blessings…

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